You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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