Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
