Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
