Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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