she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
