It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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