nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
