his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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