Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
God I need to hump something, right now.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
