I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
