What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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