I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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