Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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