its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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