if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
