I'm drive I can fine osifer
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just gargled with NyQuil
Ladies don't puke and tell
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
