Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
