dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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