WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
