There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
