I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
