Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
