She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
