you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
