Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
