who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I can't turn off my feet"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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