I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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