I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
