Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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