I wannas sexs uuuuu
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
