i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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