she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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