bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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