If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
