do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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