woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
