pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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