Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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