things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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