The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
