im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I look better un-naked...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
