If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
