The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
