shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My feet surprised me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
