Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
