I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
