I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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