wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
