I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
