i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
