The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
