everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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